Check Out Your Feelings to Check Out of Your Stress
By Lynne Hoft
Stress is a feeling. It gets mixed in with anxiety, worry, concern, and other unhappy feelings. Because these feelings range from discomfort to serious pain we often try to avoid recognizing and dealing with them. Culturally we’re taught to look outside of ourselves for a remedy to these uncomfortable feelings. We might anesthetize ourselves with a few drinks, with a buying spree, with TV or computer games, drugs, sex or any number of other feel-good “cures”. There is a much simpler way to deal with stressful feelings and gain stress relief.
Recognize Your Feelings
Instead of avoiding uncomfortable feelings we need to recognize them and use them as a signal to remind us that our thoughts are in control. Embracing feelings instead of mind numbing activities gives us the means to show stress to the door. Therefore, one step to moving beyond stress is to recognize how we are feeling. Our bodies give us physiological clues in the form of stomach aches, headaches, and tension to let us know that we are caught up in old thought patterns. Our feelings always follow our thoughts. Therefore we can use them to determine if our thoughts are working for us or not.
Psychologically, the quality of a thought determines the quality of the feeling that accompanies it. It’s as simple as learning to recognize when you’re feeling good and when you’re not. Negative feelings are signs that are telling us it is time to change our thoughts. Our negative feelings let us know that we are attached to old patterns of thinking that no longer serve us. When we dismiss these old patterns we are free to reconnect with our natural brilliance, our wisdom and common sense. Connecting with brilliance always brings positive feelings.
Shift Your Thinking
Shifting our thinking to change our feelings is another way to eliminate stress and gain stress relief. When we hold onto negative thoughts we build a cloud of negative energy around ourselves. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are choosing to stay in a state of stress. We always have the choice to either stay in the dark cloud or blow it away with our brilliance. We can choose to focus on thoughts that contribute to our sense of well-being.
By knowing that our feelings point to the direction of our thoughts and by recognizing those feelings that are connected with negative thought, we can free up our energy to move in life affirming ways. When we dismiss negative thinking, we also dismiss negative feelings and return to our natural state of brilliance.
Do What You Can Do
We don’t have to be a bystander in our own lives. There is always something we can do to reclaim our self-control. A very important step is doing what we can do without over reacting. When we’re feeling stress we may be conditioned to either freeze up or to over react. Once we’ve recognized that we are experiencing stressful feelings, we can train ourselves to respond in healthy ways. We can take a deep breath and give ourselves a minute to reflect. We can remind ourselves that we have the time we need to get balanced. Some people apply the 24 hour rule which says that there isn’t anything that can’t wait 24 hours (outside of a medical emergency). By stepping back from the situation, you allow space for your natural wisdom to come through. You then know and can take the first step to move forward.
Change Your Focus
Changing your focus from what is not working to what will work is a very important strategy in eliminating stress. This stops the negative pattern of thinking that creates stress. It also teaches us to become solution focused rather than problem focused. When we focus on problems they grow. When we focus on solutions life works. It’s really this simple!
Be Vigilant
To master this process of checking out your feelings requires vigilance. Old patterns and habits of thinking are deeply ingrained. They don’t change overnight. A commitment to stay the course, to make the change, is essential. These changes occur in our thinking, in our desire and belief that we can be stress free, and in our ability to act from our brilliance. With practice we get the results we want - stress relief!
Once we’ve mastered this process and are no longer riding waves of stress, we have an abundance of time and energy to contribute our best thoughts and actions to life.
2007 Back to Brilliance
Back to Brilliance: Unlimited Learning for Living, is a company dedicated to providing learning experiences focused on the key principles for creating brilliant lives. It is owned and operated by business partners, Lynne Hoft, EdD and Vivian Hildebrandt, MA, who are both veteran educators. Their book, Activate Your Brilliance; their educational programs: Stop Stress in Its Tracks, Master Your Mindset, and Keys to Brilliant Living: the Art of Living Happy; and their weekly E-zine: The Ultimate Treasure, all assist clients to gain stress relief, create a mindset for success, and create fulfilling lives and happiness.
Lynne and Vivian are experts in stress management. For more information and articles on stress relief go to, http://www.backtobrilliance.com/stress-relief.htm
For specific information based on your needs:
Go to our blog, http://stopstressinitstracks.com/blog
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