By Angie Milhous

Do you struggle with people frequently letting you down and stressing you out? Do you secretly wish they would just do what you want and act like you would act? I used to say that I would really love my job if it weren’t for the people. Rest assured that your reaction is completely normal and whether conscious or not, it is how most of us respond to situations that involve others.

So while you belong to a huge club…the club where we as humans want people to be like us and not stress us out…the truth is that the only one we can control is the one who stares at us in the mirror…and that includes our children. We cannot control the actions, emotions, intentions, or desires of others. All we can control is our actions, intentions, and desires.

So then, how do we reduce the stress and live more peacefully…especially at home? Isn’t “home” supposed to be our haven? Yet so many times “home” is where we fight with our kids, where we feel the exhaustion from giving so much at work, where we long for one night peace and really enjoy our children instead of running here and there.

So today’s tip is this…Learn to live in curiosity rather than judgment/blame. Here is what I mean. Think of a toddler who hasn’t had many of life’s experiences. Everything is new and bewildering to them. They ask “why” rather than assuming they know the answer. Most of us unconsciously project our judgments and preconceived opinions onto everyone around us. If we encounter someone rude, we automatically internalize it as a personal attack and get offended. If we were to live in curiosity we might say to ourselves “I wonder why she is so sad, mad, angry at life, etc…and we would go about our business without it altering our mood.

The same technique can be done in our homes. When you feel that familiar tensing sensation or find yourself beginning to “react” to a situation, take a quick second and try wonderment instead. You might say to yourself “I wonder why Mary is choosing to be grounded for breaking curfew”. This way you can stay calm and let the consequences teach Mary about responsibility, not your anger. Besides, when Mary is able to fight with you, she is avoiding responsibility and you are letting her. She wants to bait you into an argument because then she can be mad at you and not take responsibility for her own actions.

So try curiosity a few times and let us know how it works. The first couple of times will seem strange to you and your kids but I guarantee that it will create more peace in your home.

Angie Milhous is a nationally renowned speaker in the field of stress management and humor. For more information, visit http://www.AngieMilhous.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Angie_Milhous

Technorati Tags: night peace, personal attack, wonderment, stares, exhaustion, judgments, curiosity, desires, sensation, emotions, judgment, mirror, struggle, experiences, truth, job

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 6th, 2008 at 1:00 pm and is filed under Stress Management. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.